The following is the application paper wherein concepts are being applied to everyday life, especially situations related to anxiety, stress, frustration, irritation, and anger.
The Wisdom Skills include the following:
4) Humility- increasingly recognizing and reminding ourselves that our perception and interpretation of events and behaviors is subjective, others interpreted it differently, and tentatively, we ourselves will likely interpret it differently over time. It also means more appreciation of the big picture and how small daily events are in the grand scheme of things.
6) Emotional Intelligence – catching our anger and anxiety early when they are still in the frustration, irritation, and low stress range. Regulating emotions by deep breathing, relaxation techniques, and meditation.
7) Ego Transcendence- we increasingly realize that “it’s not always about me!” Stepping back from our needs, reducing our fears
The other concept applied was Confirmation Biasthis involves focusing primarily on examples that confirms our beliefs and assumptions rather than examples and evidence that disproves our beliefs and assumptions.
The following situation is a great opportunity to apply the wisdom skills. Lately, Ive been feeling stressed and my anxieties are kicking in. Although I have always wanted to move out of my parents house, thinking about moving away from home is a stressful experience especially for young people that have always lived with their parents. I have always been excited about it, but anxious at the same time. Things can get frustrating at times when I am at home, my parents are always finding things to argue with or complain about. Sometimes I think my purpose to them is being their punching bag. I usually stand up for myself when they’re saying bad things to me, but there are times I just try to ignore it because its not worth my breath to make things worse. Most of the times though, we usually get into heated arguments over small things. My parents were instilling anxieties and fear in me throughout the years making me think that I wont be able to do things on my own. I always thought thought my mistakes and failures were associated with their anger, meaning that any mistakes I did would make them angry. I want to do things on my own without any judgments or criticism and I know I can. I personally think that moving out will be the stepping stone of maturity and I am excited! The gratifying sense of independence in some sort and self-sufficiency because Ill be moving out with my friends and my younger sister as roommates. I think about what my life would be like having the liberty to make my own choices. I want to improve myself and grow as a person, but I cant do that if I am in the same household with my parents. I love my parents, but I think my relationship would be better if I moved out. Itll give me an excuse to talk to them more often and appreciate the little things, like conversations and seeing them face-to-face without arguing all the time. There are many things I am worried about like, will I be able to have enough money to be on my own or if my mom will be okay by herself with my dad? My parents are always arguing with each other and Im usually the one defending my mom. It hurts thinking about leaving my mom behind.
RESULTS & CONCLUSION:
Bringing mindfulness and shrug off the negativity that my parents give me was very helpful to de-escalate and calm down enough to then focus on their concerns as well (empathy) and make some plans to take future actions to demonstrate my feelings/sensitivity more effectively. The humility practice helped me realize they have their perspective of things as well and that my perception of it will likely change over time as well. Humility practice also helped me realize that someone being a few minutes late is not a big deal in the larger scheme of things. That there are much more important things in life, like the love I am able to share and our health, both of which brought more gratitude. The conclusion is that practicing these skills when experiencing stress, frustration, or anger seems to be effective in reducing the intensity, frequency, and duration of those emotions and brings more harmony to my life..
It was effective to bring empathy, compassion, mindfulness, humility, and realism towards reducing conflict, stress, and anger. My hope for the future would be to bring more emotional intelligence as well and catch these emotions earlier before they escalate too much. Ultimately, it would be great to practice them with high frequency daily to the point where they are automatic.