Below is the review professor gave on the first draft, please add some examples and quotes from the article edit follow the professor’s review.
Your story of goal-setting and time-management has a lot of potential if you flesh out the narrative by adding details, examples and dialogue. What is your story? What happened to make you realize that change was necessary? What was the negative aspect or situation which you turned into a redemptive story? Please read the Esfahani article again and go over the comments