I have attached the rough draft that I did for the essay, here is the feedback I got for that essay. PLEASE ADDRESS THESE AREAS while using the attached essay as your source for the whole essay.
Feedback
Introduction: Interest – Can you also specifically discuss their appeal to a wider audience.
Financial Position: Historical and Current – Remember to also include the current value. What is their position today?
Financial Position: Revenue – Remember to support this with specific evidence. Are other team’s doing this? Then you could use their success to support your idea and would add validity to this strategy.
Communication Strategies: Media – Can you be specific on all of the Rams’ social media platforms? Include specific examples of their posts to help illustrate this.
Communication Strategies: Promoting the Brand – You can include more about ethics. Think about the NFL policy on social media use by teams, how does this impact their media strategies? What about the NFL’s Fan Code of Conduct? How is this communicated to Ram’s fans when visiting the stadium?
Communication Strategies: Promotes Volunteerism – You mention the opportunities but do not include what those specific opportunities are. Give specific examples of how they promote volunteerism both internally and externally
Sales and Marketing: Overall Approach – Use specific data points besides merchandise to help illustrate their approach to sales and marketing.
Sales and Marketing: Key Consumer Demographics – But who is their fan? Be specific on demographic make-up. Think about age, income, ethnicity, education, etc.
Articulation of Response – Rams is a proper noun and should be capitalized. Your references need to be formatted using APA guidelines.
It still needs a Conclusion that has not been done yet.
Overall, based on your analysis, how would you characterize the health of your chosen organization? Cite specific evidence that supports your position.
Your sports organization research paper should be 46 pages in length and should use 12-point Times New Roman font, double spacing, and one-inch margins. Sources should be cited according to APA style.
